Q: I’m a 20-something more-or-less lesbian in an east coast city. I’m primarily into women, and I’m only interested in relationships with women, but I’m sometimes attracted to men and have enjoyed sex with men in the past. For various reasons, I decided a few years ago not to pursue physical stuff with men anymore and I publicly identify as a lesbian. This worked great pre-pandemic, but now, with a tiny social bubble and no dating prospects, I find myself feeling very attracted to a male friend/coworker. He’s 30-something, single, straight, and we’ve hung out a few times since COVID (only outside, and while socially distanced). As far as work goes, neither of us has a management role, we’re in different departments, and we rarely interact professionally. So, hypothetically, the coworker part wouldn’t be an ethical issue if we were to get involved.
And life is short and this pandemic is going to be long.
A: You’re less likely to contract COVID-19 if you’re hooded and gagged and it’ll be even safer if your kinky playmate wears a mask too. But you should be hooded and gagged before your kinky playmate arrives, HOOD, because if he gets close enough to hood and gag you himself then he’ll be exhaling all over you and inhaling whatever you’re exhaling. And that—inhaling what other people are exhaling—is the risk we all need to avoid right now. And while COVID-19 has been found in semen, the jury is still out on whether semen presents a significant risk of infection. (Unless a dude shoots so hard his semen is aerosolized and his sex partners are in danger of inhaling his spunk into their lungs.) That said, COVID-19 isn’t the only thing we need to worry about, HOOD, so he should wear a condom to protect you from HIV and other sexually transmitted infections. The biggest risk, according to health departments from sea (NYC Health) to shining sea (British Columbia Centre for Disease Control), is kissing—we’re being urged to forgo “kissing and saliva exchange” with randos for the moment—so kinky fuckers who get off on wearing masks, gags, and hoods have a built-in, hardwired advantage. But no kissing before the hood goes on.
