Q: I’m someone who does gay porn for a living. How do people who do gay porn meet someone who doesn’t just sexualize or fetishize them? I can’t eat, sleep, and breathe my work constantly, but the guys I meet want me to live out the “porn persona” version of myself all the time. How does someone who does porn know who you can be yourself with? —Aiden Ward (@aidenxxxward)
It also helps to remember that being “porn famous” doesn’t mean everyone knows who you are.
Q: I’m a gay male in his 30s and during the pandemic I stayed with a straight male friend and his girlfriend. He’d periodically been flirty with me over the years—sending me nude photos and drunkenly telling me that he loved me. When his girlfriend was away visiting family we got drunk together. He bought all the alcohol, he mixed it, and he served it. During this time we had a series of drunken encounters. The first time he took out his cock and asked me if I wanted to play with it. There was some brief licking and he grabbed my hair and finished on my face. He hugged me and rubbed my back after. The next two times were less serious, but he took off his shirt and pants. On one of those occasions his girlfriend called and he put his clothes back on, took the call, then came back and took his clothes off again. All three times it happened he was fully engaged and communicating his wants and initiating things.
You could send those screengrabs, but you shouldn’t—as wrong as it was of him to weaponize anti-gay stereotype against you, BLAH, using his dick pics against him would also be wrong. And probably a crime under revenge porn statutes. But you have every right to push back against the accusation that you forced yourself on your former friend—and while you have the receipts and he knows it, BLAH, you shouldn’t produce them. Maybe just knowing you have them will make you feel better. v
