Q: I’m a 32-year-old straight guy. My wife and I have been married for four years and together for nine. We have a great marriage and all is well. We have been quarantining at home since March. During this time, we have been exploring things sexually, which has been really fun. We have also been talking more about our kinks and fantasies. One thing my wife really wants to try is an MMF threesome. I’ve agreed and she’s been talking about how hot it will be to make this happen once quarantine is over. She is particularly turned on by the fact that this would be my first sexual experience with another guy. The only issue is, in reality, it won’t be. The truth is that when I was in high school, a guy friend and I fooled around a few times. I have no regrets but those experiences only served to reaffirm that I preferred women. I never did anything with another guy and I never felt the need to mention these early experiences to my wife. She just assumed I had never had a same-sex encounter. Now I feel like I’ve misled her or lied to her somehow. Should I tell her the truth or just let her believe our MMF threesome would be my first time with a guy? —Nervously Omitted Homosexual Occurrences, Mostly Oral
Q: My wife questions my use of the word gay as being potentially offensive and I’d like to get your take. I’m male and my male friends like to flirt and joke about performing sex acts on each other. We’ve never actually carried through with it but I consider myself on the “spectrum” and might be open to gay sex. My male friends and I say we’re being or acting gay (though we’re all practicing heterosexuals) and this is where my wife takes issue. For example, I might say “We’re so gay!” in our conversations but the word is used in a positive way. My wife makes the point that the word has a history of being used negatively, so may be considered offensive, and should only be used casually by people who are more legit gay. Should I stop using the word gay this way? —Gay Poser
A: I read your letter three times and I still can’t tell whether you’re appalled or you’re jealous. Do you disapprove of your husband treating someone that way or are you disappointed that your husband has never treated you that way? If it’s the former, well, don’t watch any more videos of your husband throat-fucking his subby cocksuckers. If it’s the latter (and I suspect it is), GAGGED, then you’re going to need to figure out how to articulate that clearly—something you failed to do in your letter—so you can tell your husband you’d like it like that too. Not being used for oral like that, of course, since you don’t like performing oral sex. But maybe you’d like anal like that?
